Month: October 2014

What the water gave me.

When I was younger, I always believed that water had a super power. Water had the ability to wash everything away. Wash away your tears, your fears, and any indication of negativity. Every terrible emotion you had could be washed away, the second the water touched you. It was with it’s magical healing powers that everything washed away. Maybe I was completely naive but when you felt this hole in your heart, you wanted to believe it was true. That something so pure could wash away all the impurities in your life. Within seconds all the tears would disappear, into the mass of water never to be seen again.

Even years later, I still believe that.

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Water became this magic eraser for everything. It washed the slates of my mistakes clean. For an instant watching all the helpless sorrows I felt fall to the floor and into the drain. The water gave you this new beginning to start all over again. A different day, a different person. Just the complete ability to wash everything away and feel better. The reflections of your past that stared back at you in the water, didn’t matter. For a moment they were there and in an instant they were gone.

There are times I wished the water would wash away everything. The memories of the past and the moments of regret and self doubt. I wished the water would take those memories and drown them to the bottom of the ocean. Anything to take away the feelings of sorrow and regret. Because no matter how many times you scrubbed your skin, it never made you feel clean. You were always left with the reflections of your past staring back at you in the water.

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I know that I can’t change the past. For a moment I just want to make believe that the water holds all my sorrows and takes them away. All of the sadness, all the tears, and all the stupid memories, gone. Swallowed whole and through the drain to drown into the waters below.  Maybe the water can’t cure all my mistakes, but for a moment it can make me feel better.

Even just for a little while.

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