You were brave.
Brave in the notion that you could spit out your frustrations, without a care in the world. Brave in never having to worry about the consequences of your actions. The words spilling out of you like rain in a rainstorm. I wasn’t prepared for your hurricanes and the damage it would leave behind. Brave in thinking that staying quiet would hide your valor in everything that you do. Eventually the armor fades and before we are whole, we bend to break. Like a fool we cling to those words and the choices end with our downfall, still I cling to every word.
Things were suppose to be different. You were suppose to be different. Instead like the others you mimic their same notions. Their same mannerisms you studied and kept for yourself. How mighty you felt when you whispered in the dark, yet violently exited as soon as the sun rose. You weren’t different, you just knew how to masquerade all your imperfections. Still you rose from your storms without a scratch. How I clawed and bled through every word, and yet you remain perfectly intact. The slates were wiped clean on your part, and still I struggled to scrub mine. It’s easy to pretend that silence means strength. That somewhere through the storm you come up victorious as the sun shines through the clouds. Instead, I watch the clouds grow darker and angrier through the procession of this storm. The greys through the slates and the ever thunderous rain that follows.
My imperfections made me weak. They created a barrier of sadness that couldn’t be masked. Instead I watched as words went through and scared into my heart. The rain never stopped, even after you left me with the damage of your storm. Was it my fault for believing in someone so brave? Was it my fault for pretending to be fine through it all? I never bothered to notice the flood beneath my feet. All that mattered was the illusion I gave that the storm came and left, once you were gone. I saw the rain as a clean slate. I saw the storm as a warning. I never imagined the hurricane you gave me, once you started the storm. Still I believed your bravery. Word for word.
You were so brave.
Brave in thinking I would stay hurt forever. Brave in thinking no one would ever find out. People change and in the end you weren’t so brave after all.
Now they know.