There’s that moment between night and morning, and I think of you. The moment the night dark skies slowly fades into the lights of the early morning. You escape my dreams and shake me awake. I see you so vividly and slowly watch you fade away. I see the sunlight slowly taking you away. There are moments I want to reach for you, but I stop. I’m tired and no matter how close you seem, you’re always so far away.
I drank too much last night. Every last drop to make the memories disappear. To drown the sounds of your voice. To take away the feelings of guilt and sadness. This desperation of needing someone, something, anything. Take away these feelings. Take away this pain. In the back of my mind it’s always you there saying how much you need me. How it was always me, you came back to. But I’m the one thats alone. I’m the one there drink after drink, alone.
If this moment is a dream, I hope I wake up. I hope all this sleeping and exhaustion amounts for something. You visit me in my dreams and you shake me awake. In dreams is the only place, you still have a memory. In dreams is the place that I knew you best. I was always the dreamer and you wished me awake. What good is being awake, if you’re not there? What good is reality when all you’re left is with sadness?
It’s that moment between night and morning. That moment when the sunrise starts to hit the dark spaces in my room. It’s the moment you start disappearing. The moment I realize it was all just a dream.
Your words sing me to sleep. Some days, I just don’t want to wake up.