I have a problem with thinking. Thinking about the past, present and where I fit in the after. Things weigh heavily on my mind. Things I’ve never told anyone, things that I should have had my peace with and let go. Demons are funny faceless creatures that reach out to you at every time. I can’t help but think about these nameless, faceless creatures. Demons haunt my thoughts and drown me with voices that never stop.
These are the cards that I have dealt with. This is my present and my future. I have always been this bad luck hero that morphs into a villainous evil. This bad luck falls then follows and carries me home. I am not okay, but I tell everyone I am fine. I am fine and focus conversations on things that have nothing to do with me. I lie here lying about every little thing I don’t want to lie about anymore. I am not okay but I say I am just fine just to get by.
Finding this bitterness take away the good I have left in me. Take away this light that glittered is now dimmed in this darkness. I am the bad guy that lives long enough to be the villain in this story. Lying here, lying to a million faces. It’s these demons you can’t see, that close in on me. But even I can’t blame them.
I am no good. I am no good. I am no good.