believing

Invisible.

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You can’t see me.

I am crystal clear that radiates blue. Even a glowworm glows and you find them. Among the crowds through the lighthouses. I am standing in front of you but you don’t see me. I radiate blue but you can’t find me. I am fading away, leaving, and one day I will disappear.

Disappear to the highest hills. Disappear through the trees and into the woods, where you’ll never find me. Finding is for things that are already lost, but I am not lost. I am invisible in this world that always sees things. Invisible to the crowds that look for things far beyond their reach. You’ll forget about me as easily as you remember me. Watching my surroundings blur out of focus with the familiar faces walking right past me. No one sees me, but I see you. I see everyone. I see their cracks and fears and every single one of their flaws. Their perfect imperfections that no one seems to see. I feel a disconnect from this world. Single glances taking second chances but I can’t help but feel alone. Standing amongst the crowds of people and asking them to see me.

You can’t see me but you see right through me. The ghost that haunts and appears when needed. But you don’t see me. I am invisible in their visible world. Slowly I watch myself disappear, just begging you to look at me. Everyone thinks they understand but they don’t. Everyone thinks they know, but they never ask. I could stand on the highest hill but you’ll focus on the scenery.

I am here. I am here, but you see right through me. I am here but you look right past me.

You don’t see me and you never will.

I am already gone.

8/12/2015

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Liar, Liar.

I am attracted to liars. People that stretch the truth farther than Pinochio’s nose ever could go. Their personified existence that stand in the balance of reality and dreaming. Words are more believable than actions, everyone knows that. Oh, how I love the words that spill out of your tongue and out onto the open spaces of air between us. You’re always right, and I am always wrong.

You think I don’t know that everything you say, never matches up to what you mean. That every single conversation you expect me to believe, is just another fabricated idea you wished were true. Because a lie is far too beautiful to be untrue. Lies are more beautiful than the vicious honest truth. I love words more than I love people, because even people let you down. But words? They’re just little letters and sounds that clutter up open spaces.

Will you let me down? Will you let me down this time?

Standing tall on clouds and building castles in the skies. The words you say in the clear cold air becomes the clouds that fog through the city and the streets. People never want to hurt you. People never mean what they say. All they want is for you to believe them and never leave their side. Tell me what I want to hear, tell me all the pretty things I need to believe. Tell me everything and then when I am gone tell me nothing in return.

Everything you say is lies and every day I keep fighting for whats true. Every single day I believe you and every single time I know that it’s not true. But then a light shines down from your clouds, down from beneath your castles, and in that moment I believe in you just a little bit longer.

You’re nothing but a liar. Liar, Liar, every things untrue.

8/8/2015