fakes

Forget you.

The minutes turn to hours. These months are moving faster then days in the year. When did that happen? When did months fly by faster then the actual days. Something is missing. Something is losing it’s place with me. I can’t put my finger on it. It’s slowly further from my reach, way beyond my grasp. If I reach for it, it’s no longer there. Disappeared into the months that move faster than the days.

Its was either you or me. You with your sad, melancholy feelings. You with your never ending excuses, line after line of lies that you word so eloquently. You against the world, or something like that. Anchors holding you down, to help you from steering off course. We were all pawns in your game of life. Another person you lined up, to shoot back down again. YOU are what matters. YOU are what holds all this clout.

You, you, and only YOU.

Selfish is, as selfish does. Cherry pick only the things that matter and that fit our needs. Everyone against you. Everyone having what you wanted. Everyone having what you needed. These countless stories of being the warrior in battle, going off to war. As always, only you.

You.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so blind? How could I have believed these stories that were mere myths to an average person. That was you. All you, right?

You.

When I no longer have to pick up the pieces of you, its becoming easier to forget you. When your ghost stops haunting my sleep, it’s easier to forget you. To leave these memories and misplace these feelings of what never was. I could never be that selfish. I could never be that petty. Maybe I was a fool in believing, a fool in deceiving all these lies. You were the master conductor of this orchestrated drama. How delicately you picked at your strings and watched people come back to you. How violently you cut those same strings when they didn’t seem to fit in your world. I could forgive you. Forgive every single perfectly worded explanation. How can I forgive a person, I am already forgetting?

If only you knew how easily people can misplace you. How easily they can forget everything. All I want is to forget everything about you. Its easy to make up mythical stories of battles and wars. Stories about the world being so tragically against you. The minutes turn to hours, the days become months, and like a well dressed villain your name seems to escape me. You are easily forgotten, and forgetting you is easily done.

5/10/2014

 

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I know, yeah you too.

op·por·tun·ist:
a person who exploits circumstances to gain immediate advantage rather than being guided by consistent principles or plans.

Opportunists come in all shapes and sizes. They wear their masks better than the rest of the fakes and phonies. Flocking to you like a moth to a light. They can’t help but want everything you got. Use you, abuse you, then hang you out to dry. Always needing something from everybody, always there for the taking. Where do we find these people? Actually, Stop. We don’t find these people, they find us. They stalk their prey from the darkest depths of our vulnerable souls and take everything they can from us.  Take everything that you need, obviously you need it more than we do.

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I must have SUCKER on my forehead because I seem to fall for everything. I am standing in a new generation of opportunists. Standing in a crowd of people who use me and I can’t help but watch them do so. Watch them use me, use my family, take my money, and then go on to the next series of people. Watch their armies of acquaintances defend their honor. It’s cool, I thought we were friends too. It’s amazing what you believe, when someone is taking everything out from under you. After they’re done with you, it’s back to the shelf of used toys until they need you again. Maybe in a day, a week, or a month, they’ll come back. They always come back.

Living in an age of carbon copies and no one wants to be original. Let me leave everyone the blue prints of my life, so they can copy my entire existence. A copy will always be a copy. No matter how you change the appearance of the opportunity. Opportunists want what they can turn around and make their own. Using all of everyones resources to make the best representation of themselves. One of these days, the little opportunist that cried wolf, will not be saved. Next time people need something from me, call on all the other people that they have on their rotation of using. I sure as hell don’t need people like that in my life. When you can count how many times you need people and you can’t help yourself, maybe it’s time for a life change.

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If I stop feeding the opportunists, maybe they’ll finally stop leeching off of my life. Stop and realize that what they’re doing is wrong. I am tired of helping people that couldn’t give a shit about my well being. Who don’t take the time to see whats up in my life. You only need me when y’all want something. I am done. If you don’t hear from me, it’s because I’ve done found you out. After you have everything you want from me, when do I get to use you?

It doesn’t matter what I say anyway. Opportunists are just gonna jump from me to you. A never ending cycle of using to get used. I hope it’s worth it.

Call me when you need me.

2/28/2015